One of my greatest weaknesses, which I believe has been quite burdensome and has added challenges to my life, is perfectionism. I have truly experienced this in my daily life, and I've had experiences and regrets that have provided me with priceless insights regarding this characteristic.

One of those experiences was during the application process for IISMA, a campus freedom program for student exchange and scholarships abroad. The process required for applying to this program was quite lengthy and challenging, in my opinion. It started with registering on the website, preparing documents that required spending a considerable amount of money (for me), writing an essay, attending interviews, and finally being awarded as an IISMA awardee.

I experienced significant doubts during the document preparation process, which required spending money on an English Proficiency Test. I doubted myself, "Will I be able to pass this test?" "Will I be able to get a score good enough for the university I'm aiming for?" I was quite confident in my English abilities, but my self-confidence wavered when something was at stake, and I was burdened by the expenses that had to be incurred. At that time, I wasn't financially capable of paying for it. I felt like I was struggling half-heartedly because I had started preparing documents like a passport and such stuff that requires effort and some money.

During the 4th and 6th, which were the times when I could apply for the IISMA program, I experienced similar dilemmas and challenges for those two periods. Many other factors also added to the challenges, burdens, and the possibility of not being able to participate in the program, such as the university's unavailability. As a result, I let go of the IISMA program and decided to continue with my college activities at that time. Even though deep down, I knew there was a small possibility of success that I could have pursued then.

Along the journey, I had the opportunity to learn about the concept of "Growth Mindset," and so far, it has greatly helped me overcome my perfectionism.

I faced a challenging experience that I thought was almost impossible to succeed after learning this topic. That experience was the struggle of the final thesis defense and graduation during my community service period (KKN) to pursue a 3.5-year graduation. I faced numerous challenges and external factors that increased the likelihood of not being able to graduate during that time. However, I tried to overcome all these challenges without focusing too much on the final outcome, I tried to enjoy every process. The struggle of traveling for about 6 hours round-trip from the community service location, facing the defense while also thinking about the projects I had to work on, revising the defense results, processing the numerous documents that required various parties – I tried to persevere through it all. Again, I tried to wholeheartedly enjoy every process.

In the end, this struggle was highly rewarding. I was able to graduate during the community service period. I managed to complete my education in just 3.5 years. I became the best graduate of the informatics program during the graduation ceremony. In my opinion, this would have been impossible if I had prioritized my ego and succumbed to my perfectionism.

These two traits – growth mindset and perfectionism – are a combination that has greatly helped me now. Facing difficult challenges and planning how I can overcome them is no longer a cause for concern like before. With these traits, I can continue to grow and experience insightful self-development at all times, and through this, many people have been helped.

I am now a mentor in one of the kampus merdeka programs (bangkit academy), and with this background, I can support my mentees. I can empathize more with the problems they face. With these traits, I can also be a resilient person and create a positive environment around me.

Every process, every struggle that may not have succeeded yet, is not a failure. Everyone who goes through these processes deserves appreciation for their efforts. Sometimes, others or even we ourselves may only see these struggles from a narrow perspective. However, we must also be aware that every effort we put forth is a valuable learning experience. This experience has made me realize that "living in the moment" is one way to enjoy life – all the processes, challenges, and struggles we are facing.